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Colbert Nation/Prof. McDoc
Intro He is a devoted follower of Stephen Colbert. He did live in St. Louis, but lives in Florida now. He is also the leader of a pro-Stephen anti-bear group.He recently conquered Mt. Kephart, the tallest of the Smokey Mountains(don't question the highth of the mountains). He is also very awesome and Colbertific. As of July 27, 2008, Prof. McDoc is promoted one rank. He is also known as kugkings. His oldest Wriststrong is in so damaged, it is sometimes called the Frankenstrong. Full Name The Prof. McDoc's full name is The Great Holy Reverend Brigadear General Proffessor McDoctor McNinja McStiney The Negative McPimpmiester the Fourth, I Mean The Third, I Mean Thirty-seventh The First And A Half Plus Fourteen Minus Two Divided By Pi The First Cha Cha Cha Delicious, The Great Pubah Czar of Poopville. Innovator Prof. McDoc is also at the cutting edge of anti-bear combat and wriststrong repair technology. His group is located in florida and is called the Colbert Loyalists. They are dedicated to combating bears. He is currently working on a written dictionary to describe all things Colbert. Leadership In Anti-Bear Technology He has recruted several of the top anti-bear figures into the Colbert Nation. These people include Wiggles, Tex, Captain John, a new guy Nick-Name Pending, and his assistant That One Guy. He lets his allie and friend Pooperts test out any new anti-bear technology in the field for the first time. Luckily, even if the new device fails, Pooperts can kill a bear with his bare hands(or feet). Pro-Colbert Combat Technology Standard Weapons The standard weapon is a Colbertgun, capable of defeating any non-colbert entity by shooting Colbenergy. It is a laser gun that won't harm any humans, but is still incrediblly strong. Most people will have this one even if they are in a special division or have a special job. Another standard weapon is, of course, the Wriststrong. It is outfitted with a peice of special technology to slowly absorb and store spare Colbenergy. This energy can be released under dire circumstances. Colbenergy can also be released in the form of a knife from the wriststrong to combay non-Colbert entities. Anti-bear technology inventions Prof. McDoc has invented some of the most important Anti-Bear Technology These are some of the most important. Wriststrong upgrades- can repel bears to an extent Anti-bear armor- can defend bear claws and fangs Bear tracking devices- devices put on bears to know the location of them without them knowing Anti-bear dart gun- a small non-human-lethal dart gun with essence of stephen on it The Bearier- a barier built out of super strong colbanium used to repel bears to a farther extent than the wriststrong upgrade. Colbanium- an alloy of the most strong metals on earth, the moon, and middle earth. It can withstand virtually anything. It is composed primarily of titanium, aluminum, iron, and carbon for strength and gold and platinum for repelant and luster. Colbearier- the second version of the Bearier, which is capable of repeling almost any bear, including the Pizzly. Also called the Bearier V.2 Anti-Ginger Technology The wriststrong also works againgst Gingers. Most of their powers can be matched by normal Colbert Loyalists weapons. Major Anti-Bear Battles Prof. McDoc started out as a soldier for America and all that good stuff. In his early days, he fought in most of the major "Bear Battles", as they were called. The Bear War was confined mostly to the young Colbert Loyalists. Prof. McDoc was only a private at the time. The first battle was the battle of Bear Beach. On the pure white beaches of Pensacola, a battle between bears and Americans raged. In an act of courage, Prof. McDoc sacraficed his own wriststrong to save the former leader of the Colbert Loyalists. After that he got into the habbit of fixing Wriststrongs. Many other battles raged on after that, all much more feirce. Prof. McDoc really showed his courage and awesomeness in the battle of Bear Pass. He single-handedly held off more than 1000 bears at a pass more narrow than those spartans fought at, to defend his injured brothers until reinforcements came. After that he was promoted to Lt. Col. His most defining moment was at Bear Peak, a heavily fortified mountain in southern Kansas. He and more than 21,500 of his allies charged up the mountain to attack more than 158,800 bears, gingers, commies, and hippies. They had a powerful weapon we now know as the Pizzly. While unable to defeat it, Prof. McDoc and the remaining 1200 Colbert Loyalists were able to force it to retreat, thus capturing one of the bears strongest strongholds in America at the time. Following that battle, he repaired most weapons and was reinforced with 8700 Colbert Loyalists and 150 Colbert Eliet. This battle was Prof. McDoc's last. After that he was appointed head of the Colbert Loyalists Technology and Developement Department, or CLTDD. Since then, he hasn't participated in any Bear Battles directly, But has developed the most important technology for the Colbert Loyalists and commanded from his headquarters. He prefers to be with his brother Colbert Loyalists, but Head Command wants to keep him safe for future emergencies, such as the sighting of a Class 5 Ginger. Battlefeild Classification There is eight classes of battlefields. They are as follows- *C1- A level field with no obstacles. *C2- A level field with slight hills and holes no more than 2 feet high or deep. *C3- Much more hilly, but no holes or ditches. At least 2 foot high hills. No more than 7 feet. *C4- No hills or holes, but almostly all ditches or trenches. *C5- No hills or trenches, but many holes all 2 to 7 feet deep. *C6- Mounain battlefeild, including plateaus *C7- An ocean or other water battlefeild. *C8- An urban battlefeild, with the most risk of bystander deaths. Random Stuff Organization The notes are organized in a list of numbers. They are from 1 to, oh, I don't, 1,000,000,000,000,000. They are pretty awesome. Please follow directions below. Rating System Please rate all notes from 1-10(feel free to give them an 11). Here is an example: Prof. McDoc, Note 1-rating 8. Thanks. Notes 1. These notes are completely Pointless. They aren't even what I was supposed to be doing. I may fail that class, but this is way more entertaining. 2. I'm hoping these notes will be something like Sorachi's Mumblings, out of Shonen Jump, more specificly Gin Tama. They don't rally matter, but I like them anyway. 3. I find that people don't usually care what they think, but only want to please other people. Right now I am only pretending to take notes to please my teacher. That is stupid. 4. What really bugs me is when people try to sound smart, like using big word that they don't even know the meaning of, or forcing their English class to read Self-Relience by Ralph Waldo Emerson. And whats up with his name? My microwave's brand name is Emerson. Was he a microwave? No one can possible understand what that jerk ment. If 100 years ago some poor soul trys to read this, they will strain their brain. DON'T TRY!!!!!!! 5. On the paper I originaly wrote this on you can see a japanesse characters to the left of this. Why was it their you ask? Because it is what I think of non-Colbert stuff. The characers mean poop. 6. I already forgot what I had written just 10 minutes ago. That is why I plan to reread this and put it on wikiality. I will even type this stuff. See I just did.What did I just type? I forgot again. 7. The weirdest thing is that no one that reads the original paper copy except That One Guy, Captain John, and Pooperts know who I am. Am I three years old or 30 years old? am I in first grade or college? Who knows. Not you. But thats not my fault, it is yours. Who are you again? 8. This is the eight thing. Go away. I don't feel like doing an eight thin, oh, crap, I just did, didn't I. Bye bye. 9.The expiration date of a flying monkey-lion is directly proportional to its eight multiplied by one halve of a piece of pie and a cats mouth. That made no sense. So why are you reading some that makes no sense? you must be board or stupid. By the way the expiration date is orange.